Monday, February 15, 2010

Apparently I'm a hippy??

I find it amusing that my husband and I are referred to as European and/or Hippies by our friends who are less liberal then us.  I admit we are fairly liberal and more crunchy then a goodly number of our friends in many aspects.  But does that make us hippies?  I'll lay it all out and let you decide!!

We birth our children at home, with no interventions (and almost with no midwife due to the speed of labor).  I breastfeed exclusively until 8 or 9 months before offereing solids, skip infant cereal altogether and go straight to relatively bland table food (nothing jarred).  I breastfeed in public without the aide of a blanket or cover.  I also get into heated debates with people (online and in real life) who would try to tell me what I am doing is immoral or wrong.  My children have all breastfed their toys (including my son) and I ENCOURAGE it!!  I dabble in cloth diapers with a very on and off attitude.  I did Elimination Communication (infant pottying) with 2 of my children; 1 of whom was fully out of diapers by 18 months.   All my kids are pottied by the age of 2 because I don't agree with the "wait till they're ready; after age 3" mentality.    My youngest child is not Vaccinated, but the older 3 are. 
We don't ofen eat prepackaged foods or frozen convenience foods.  We do eat a lot of whole grains and raw veggies.  My kids even enjoy snacking on veggies.  I have never bought koolaid for the purpose of consuming it (but do use it to make an awesome smelling playdough!), my kids don't get anything but water or milk to drink until after the age of 2...and then fruit juice is a rare and special treat!  Pop is unheard of except with the grand parents!
We don't have cable television (except during the Olympics right now!!) but we do watch a lot of movies.  With the kids (all under 8 remember) we have watched everything from disney classics to Transformers, Superman, and now the newset Star Trek.  There were some who thought that that might be a little violent and maturely themed for young kids.  But our kids LOVED it, and I have not noticed an increase in violence in our household. 
I have noticed an increase in attitude and contention in our house though.  I cna pinpoint that to our children starting public school.  (Oh yeah, we are homeschoolers trying out the public school system.  To which I am really NOT loving it.) 
HOWEVER....We do have lots of toys that are made of plastic and require batteries.  My kids play video games.  I use sunblock and bugspray.  I regularly shave my legs and pits.  I spank my kids when necessary, and insist they sleep in their own beds in their own rooms.  I wear them when needed, but not ALL the time.  I encourage independance at an early age.       

So that's us; what do you think?  Do we deserve our hippy/European title?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

"Do as I say, not as I do"

A long time ago, when I was in elementary school, (haha) I remember every year taking the time to write out Valentines.  It was a long arduous process, picking just the right card for each individual. I didn't want Kris thinking I liked him if the sentiment was too mushy, and didn't want Stacy thinking I liked Kelly more if hers wasn't as sentimental.  It took the better part of an evening, not just to pick them and write them, but to mentally go over our seats in class to make sure I hadn't forgotten anyone.  And of course, I would always be sure to include a couple of blank ones just incase I did forget someone.  I remember distinctly thinking how awful it would feel to be the only one to not receive a full complement of Valentine Cards, and while it rarely if ever happened in my rememberance, it was still a terrible fear.

Fast Foward 20 years and the teachers are now smart enough to send class lists home.  I think this serves 2 purposes.  A) no longer are there just Amanda's, Kelly's and Jason's in class, but Mykenzie, Mackenzie and Makensie, Dylan, Dillon, and Dalon.  With so many spelling variations it's best to not get them wrong. and B) This way nobody gets forgotten.  Infact the note sent home on the other side of the list specifically states "If your child wishes to bring Valentine Card's, pleases make sure to include all 27 students".  I appreciate the sentiment of the second reason, but can't help feeling like we have done kids a diservice to warrant this need for a list.

Having had 2 children in the school system now for almost 6 months I have determined that kids today aren't just cruel, they are down right rude and nasty.  They have absolutely no filter from brain to mouth, saying exactly what they want when they want, consequences be damned.  And from my observances...they go out puposely looking to cause a scene.  I wouldn't put it past them to leave someone off on purpose, just to be hurtful.  

Sadly, this fault can only be layed at the feet of their parents.  Children learn by example, not by sermon.  So while we tell our children to speak kindly, we aren't showing them how.  I know for a fact many of the people I went to school with swear in front of their children, speak with crude words and name call their friends within earshot of their kids.  It's not being done maliciously, but our kids can't tell the difference, and they take what they have heard and try it out with their friends.  It's terribly disturbing to listen to a group of 8 year old girls telling each other they suck and to shut up. 

We grew up when sarcasm was reaching it's pinnacle, we were the rulers of sarcasm, and it has carried over, spilling forth into all aspects of our lives.  These children have yet to master it, and don't understand that while the words are cruel and harsh, the delivery and the meaning behind them are not.  So they hear the words, understanding only the linear value of them, and deliver these harsh words with a sneer and a snarl, waiting for the scene that is inevitable.

I have witnessed this behavior first hand in my own home, when school friends have come to play.  I admit to sitting my girls down, and threatening them, that if they ever behaved in someone elses house the way their friends behaved in mine, or spoke to a grown up with as much disrespect as I was spoken to, that I would confine them to our house for the remainder of their school careers.

So while I am grateful that the list is there and I don't have to figure out how to spell Rheanna correctly, I am saddened that it needs to be said "Please include all 27 children."  Somewhere along the lines we have failed our children.  I urge you all to think about how you speak in front of your children..."do as I say, not as I do" has never proven to be an effective teaching method.