"Do as I say, not as I do"

A long time ago, when I was in elementary school, (haha) I remember every year taking the time to write out Valentines.  It was a long arduous process, picking just the right card for each individual. I didn't want Kris thinking I liked him if the sentiment was too mushy, and didn't want Stacy thinking I liked Kelly more if hers wasn't as sentimental.  It took the better part of an evening, not just to pick them and write them, but to mentally go over our seats in class to make sure I hadn't forgotten anyone.  And of course, I would always be sure to include a couple of blank ones just incase I did forget someone.  I remember distinctly thinking how awful it would feel to be the only one to not receive a full complement of Valentine Cards, and while it rarely if ever happened in my rememberance, it was still a terrible fear.

Fast Foward 20 years and the teachers are now smart enough to send class lists home.  I think this serves 2 purposes.  A) no longer are there just Amanda's, Kelly's and Jason's in class, but Mykenzie, Mackenzie and Makensie, Dylan, Dillon, and Dalon.  With so many spelling variations it's best to not get them wrong. and B) This way nobody gets forgotten.  Infact the note sent home on the other side of the list specifically states "If your child wishes to bring Valentine Card's, pleases make sure to include all 27 students".  I appreciate the sentiment of the second reason, but can't help feeling like we have done kids a diservice to warrant this need for a list.

Having had 2 children in the school system now for almost 6 months I have determined that kids today aren't just cruel, they are down right rude and nasty.  They have absolutely no filter from brain to mouth, saying exactly what they want when they want, consequences be damned.  And from my observances...they go out puposely looking to cause a scene.  I wouldn't put it past them to leave someone off on purpose, just to be hurtful.  

Sadly, this fault can only be layed at the feet of their parents.  Children learn by example, not by sermon.  So while we tell our children to speak kindly, we aren't showing them how.  I know for a fact many of the people I went to school with swear in front of their children, speak with crude words and name call their friends within earshot of their kids.  It's not being done maliciously, but our kids can't tell the difference, and they take what they have heard and try it out with their friends.  It's terribly disturbing to listen to a group of 8 year old girls telling each other they suck and to shut up. 

We grew up when sarcasm was reaching it's pinnacle, we were the rulers of sarcasm, and it has carried over, spilling forth into all aspects of our lives.  These children have yet to master it, and don't understand that while the words are cruel and harsh, the delivery and the meaning behind them are not.  So they hear the words, understanding only the linear value of them, and deliver these harsh words with a sneer and a snarl, waiting for the scene that is inevitable.

I have witnessed this behavior first hand in my own home, when school friends have come to play.  I admit to sitting my girls down, and threatening them, that if they ever behaved in someone elses house the way their friends behaved in mine, or spoke to a grown up with as much disrespect as I was spoken to, that I would confine them to our house for the remainder of their school careers.

So while I am grateful that the list is there and I don't have to figure out how to spell Rheanna correctly, I am saddened that it needs to be said "Please include all 27 children."  Somewhere along the lines we have failed our children.  I urge you all to think about how you speak in front of your children..."do as I say, not as I do" has never proven to be an effective teaching method.